Thursday 4/2

After some of my compadres ditched physiology and nearly stuck us with the presentation, I was more than a little miffed.

My aunt is a high school teacher. Since they don’t have enough English teachers, that job fell on her so she asked me to come in and let her students practice English and hear what a real American accent sounded like. That was an adventure. First of all, I mostly talked in Spanish, telling them about what it’s like in the U.S. and how their country is all weirdie to me (all of this is in front of 30ish 16-year-olds). They got to ask me questions, one of the first of which was if I was single. In a gesture of good will, I said that if they wanted to practice English or play racquetball, (which apparently is quite common but I have yet to play,) they could call me, and I gave a few my number. That should be interesting.

Then I switched classes to a room of 40 13-year-olds. One sassy kid in the front commented that I had somehow gotten a whiteout stain on the back of my black pants. I asked him, in front of the whole class, why he was looking at my butt. Then this cute little Chinese kid asked for my number, and he was so cute, he almost got it. All in all it was super duper fun, and I hope I get to go again.

I went for a walk to the river and stopped to stalk a taekwondo school where some little children were pummeling the crud out of each other. The teacher eventually noticed me and I ended up making a new friend. He invited me to come participate in class anytime. Sw-eet.

In the afternoon we had Spanish and at night Sarah, her sis Gabbi, Jenny, and her brothers Mocho and Fetchie came over to watch a movie with my sisters and I. I have no clue what we put on, but it scared the crap out of me. Once the boys left, we all screamed and cuddled together. Good times.

Friday 4/3

For this week’s practicum we went to the public hospital, where the doctor met and promptly abandoned us. Having no clue what to do, we wandered. Eventually we befriended the physical therapists, one of which gave my back some electroshock stuff and ultrasound. **Cue heavenly music** She said I could come back any Monday.

After that I spent the morning on the internet, catching up with the zillions of messages that are bombarding me from email, facebook, and now hi5.

I made rice krispies for my fam. Score again for the B. My mom is seriously contemplating selling them for 70 cents a square in her catering business. She did the math.

So, I’ve been getting these weird calls, mostly missed calls because I’m busy in class or something, but when I called them back I heard an Ecuadorian “aloh” and then he hung up. I got so fed up, I called back a few more times until I got a real answer, but then I got so confused, (Spanish by phone is the absolute pits,) that I handed the phone to Gabbi to translate.

Needless to say, for as much as I needed her help she was a bit of a butt—throwing in middle school girl comments. This is what we deciphered: this kid’s name was Rodrigo. He’s a senior at the high school I visited. He’s 19 and he wants to go out with me. #1. I’m super hot. #2. I seem fun. #3. He wants to go out with me. Well, he had me sold right then and there. I asked for a description of him, since I had no clue which kid it was. He’s a tall, curly-haired mestizo who’s apparently taller than me, (when I said I was single I qualified it by saying I only date guys taller then me, which resulted in us doing a test with the tallest guys in the classs. Only 3 of the 30 made the cut. I’m pretty sure they’re 3 of 10 in the country who do. I told him I’m on vacation, but when I get back we’ll see, but there’s no freaking way I’m going alone. I figure taking me out is the least he could do, since that stupid phone call cost me $7! Rodrigo, you owe me. Peanut gallery, put your votes in for what I should do.

At the very least, it was a good bonding opportunity for Gabi and I.

Saturday 4/4

Our grand adventure began at church at 5 AM. We spent 9 very uncomfy hours in a bus eating junk food and playing a question game, Hot Seat.

Once we arrived in the jungle we got in a motor canoe and took a 10 min trip to Casa del Suizo, our hotel. It was like something out of Swiss Family Robinson. It was situated on a piece of land jutting out into the river. The rooms were duplex houses with grass roofs and porches with hammocks that overlooked the river. The rooms were connected by raised, covered walkways.In the middle of everything was the open dining area next to the pool, which also overlooked the river, and all of this in the middle of the jungle. Every meal was an incredible buffet. Hallelujah! I tried tongue again and had my first encounter with goat, which was so-so.

As we’d arrived completely sweaty and disgusting, we jumped in the pool for a good 3 hours before dinner, then played cards and unwound.

Sunday 4/5

7:30 breakfast. Oi vey. By 9 we headed out in canoe with out guide, Telmo, (who I had to resist calling Elmo,) for a hike in the jungle. It was kind of buggy, sweaty, and hasty but amazing. We saw giant termite hives stuck up in the trees, cicaidae mounds, and a Viagra-like root appropriately named for its form “Pene del Diablo”. In the middle of nowhere they had a big rope swing, of which I was a fan. We also broke open plant pods and ate ants, which taste lemony.

In the afternoon we went to a butterfly farm. It was absolutely gorgeous, and even though I’m not exactly a “girly girl”, I-LOVE-BUTTERFLIES

Julie, Sarah, and I went exploring in the adjoining town and watched a soccer game. My team lost, but we still had fun yelling for both teams with the fans.

The day was topped off by a well-deserved soak in the pool.

At night we piled all the girls on Jenny’s bed and told scary stories. Everyone was screeching like whoa. Leigh, Jenny, and I left for a moment on the pretext of retrieving Leigh’s shoes by the pool and recruited the rest of our group to scare the pants off of the rest of the girls. When we came back Jenny started her next story, and right at the climax, Ellie, Katie, Grant, and Will started screaming and banging on the door from the balcony. I have never heard shrieks of that decibel.

Monday 4/6

My ipod is dying from the humidity. Nooooo!!!!

We motor-canoed up the river to an animal refuge. There we got to see loose monkies, which we couldn’t touch since they were being rehabbed, various birds, a baby anaconda, and best of all: capybaras!

Afterwards we tubed down the river. We stopped at a big rope swing and jumped into the river from the rocks. Then most of us climbed a tree overhanging the river and jumped approximately 20 feet to the river below. It was awesome. After a quick lunch of sandwiches we continued down the river in our tubes, watching a thunderstorm for part of it.

Next we visited a Quichua family, where we got natural face paint, plant headbands, and tried on a flower that looks like a tucan nose. With the native family we tried chicha, an alcoholic drink from yucca or corn normally made from the spit of old ladies chewing the aforementioned plants. We also tested our blowdart skills, of which I possess none. We finished our tour checking out ceramic and wood shops.

Tuesday 4/7

Travel day- Ug. We drove to Quito and stayed in a hostel.

Wednesday 4/8

Started the day at 4:15 AM. I’ll spare you my opinion of the hour. From Quito we flew to the Galapagos. It was soooo hot when we got there. It was rather deserty in appearance, with short shrubbery and fatty cactus trees. The ground was reddish and composed of volcanic rock.

We went for a short hike followed by a dip in the sea.

We hung out with some sea lions who were crashing the fisherman’s dock. Not only did the pelican there hate us, but after the sea lion charged us, the fishermen told us to scram. I don’t get it. They’re the first Ecuadorians I’ve met who weren’t big fans of gringas.

We’re playing a giant game of Survivor Galapagos, complete with competitions, jerseys, and a photo scavenger hunt.

Thursday 4/9

Due to extenuating circumstances, I didn’t have my camera, and it made me very angry. We went snorkeling and played with sea lions, like 2 feet away from our faces, sharks, and fishies. On the islands we saw the infamous blue-footed boobies and penguins!

Jenny and I lost our room key, and were therefore locked out when we got back at night, so we had a sleepover in Sarah and Darla’s room.

Friday 4/10

More snorkeling. We did a hike on an island and checked out black, spitting iguanas and saw a ginormous millipede. In the middle of the island we found the Cliffs of Love, which had a water-filled cravass inbetween, so naturally we jumped off of them. First Sarah, Ellie, and I jumped from a lower rock about 20-30 feet to the water. Then after our Italian friend, Eduardo jumped from the highest rock, I was compelled to do the same. We were the only two to jump about 40 off of the cliffs. It was incredible, and I even stuck the landing—going in pencil-straight!

I’m starting to get tired of all the sun. My legs are a little over-toasted. Next we visited a beautiful white-sand beach where we played in the waves and hit the sand for a little Ultimate. Today was awesome, but after all of the swimsuit time, I’m starting to chafe.

After we got back and got all cleaned and cutied up, we had a nice dinner out.

Saturday 4/11

More snorkeling. We went to a place called Shark Canal, where there were indeed a very large number of non-aggressive sharks, (no worries, family). We played with the sea lions some more and I saw starfish the size of my head. One of our Ecuadorian friends got stung by a jelly. Poor kid.

Following that we checked out a new island that was formerly inhabited by pirates. There were more tortoises there, and we could touch these ones!

While we were traveling from the beach to the pirate hideout and from the pirate place to lunch, we rode on the roof of the van/bus thing. At lunch I had the pleasure of discovering a beetle in my cake. Delicious.

We had dinner in a restaurant, and our waiter was quite the character. First he messed up someone’s ice cream cone, so I got it for free. Then when my dessert came it said “welcome amore” in the syrup.

Sunday 4/12

Happy Easter! We flew out of Galapagos bright and early and landed in Guayaquil, from which we had a 4 hour drive home to Cuenca. In the McDonalds, the first one we’ve been to since arriving here, we did a rap in front of the whole restaurant. We got home at about 10:30, and got ready for class tomorrow at 7:00 am.

Monday 4/13

In physiology we, the gringos, were assigned to present on the cerebellum. Afterwards we made new friends who invited us to go dancing, shopping, and to the beach. Whoohoo! Our rotations with Dr. Torral were canceled, so Sarah and I went shopping and bought a boatload of rings. After Spanish in the afternoon, Gabi decided to help me find outfits for the quinceñera that we’re invited to on Saturday and for dancing on Thursday. It was a very chick-flicky scene. We pulled every dress she and her sister own out of their closet and I tried them out while she took pictures. Afterwards she made me try on the tightest jeans I’ve ever worn in my life to find an outfit for the disco. This is the typical “going out” outfit of an Ecuadorian chick: tight tight skinny jeans rolled at the bottom, a skanky shirt, straightened hair, tons of makeup, and heels. Basically, they look like really cute whores. No worries, I’ll have to wear my own take on the Ecuadorian dancing clothes, cause I have no clue how one dances in booty jeans and heels. Additionally, us Taylorites have a strict policy of dancing only amongst ourselves so we don’t have to worry about skeeze buckets.

Oh yeah, and I'm going to the jungle and the GALAPAGOS tomorrow. Whoot whoot! Be back in a weekish.

Friday 3/27

The first day of the official practicum started with a bang. Leigh and I headed to Monte Sinai hospital and hung out with the surgeons.

We started the day with a kid getting her tonsils out. That was a good warm up. Afterwards was the grossest surgery I’ve seen. You must remember, I’m more noise sensitive than anything. It was a woman with sinusitis. The surgeons used the camera thingy to show the inside of her nosie on the screen. Then they drained the pus out. Afterwards the snapped out chunks of her nasal septum, (that being the nastiest part). Lastly, while they were in the neighborhood, they gave her a nose job. That was mildly disgusting but mostly fascinating, once her nose was broken and they were wiggling it around.

Our last surgery was kind of funny. It was a middle-aged woman who had already had a tummy tuck, breast augmentation, and breast lift. Now she was coming in for full body lipo, (which apparently only costs 5 grand), They used a different method. First she was marked and given an iodine bath, during which the surgeon made a really funny joke in Spanish. The patient commented that, “Será más duro por atrás,” (it’ll be harder in the back, meaning, to take the fat,) to which the surgeon responded, “Todo es más duro por atrás” (everything’s harder from the back).

Then she was given a sedative and some painkiller shots where they made the incisions in her skin to insert the tubes. Then the surgeon shoved a long metal tube filled with local anesthetic all under her skin where they were taking fat. Supposedly that was the most painful part, and she’d have enough amnesia afterwards to not remember it anyway. Then they brought out the vibrating tubey thingy and went scrapey scrapey everywhere. First they collected vials of fat to inject into her boo-tay, which apparently was lacking. The rest got sucked into a jar. The surgeon estimated 7 liters of pure fat for this job, but they can take anywhere from 5-12 L. Sick-Puppies.

In the afternoon we had our self-lead devotional which was on the topic of Hosea and was really good. After that we attempted to have a “study sleepover”. Guess how much studying got done. At least I’ve finally seen Twilight.

Saturday 3/28

After picking up her present, Leigh, Jenny, Sarah, and I went to Katy’s birthday party, which was rockin’. We gave her a one-eyed goldfish which we named “Chi-Chi”. Yes, we were fully informed of it’s condition when we bought it, and I even asked the pet store lady for a discount, which she declined. It’s quite the fish though. Rumor has it it can swim backwards. The gringos were the life of the party. It was about 10 white folks and 20 ecuadorians since it was a double birthday party for Katy and her Ecuadorian bro, David. We played ridiculous games like musical chairs, limbo, and a version of the HA game for awesome prizes like giant plastic rings, paddle balls, and fluffy tiarra’s (of which I was the proud owner). We tried to start the Macarena, to no avail. Afterwards we all just hung out and I finally made some friends, albeit all dudes, but what can you do . . .

When I came home I’d planned to hole up in my room and study, but we had a family party instead. In the spirit of sociality, I made a brief appearance which stretched into about an hour of chit-chat. They were super nice folks, so I didn’t mind. I don’t get their concept of time though. Parties start at 8 or 9 and end at 12 or 1. Oi vey. I met what I think was my second cousin, a 3ish year old named Anthony who I have fallen in love with and plan on getting a green card. That’s cool with you, right? Parents?

Sunday 3/29

New favorite quote from my mom, “No, más seeexi!”. She said this in regards to my outfit for church. I’d planned on wearing a blue shirt that has an elastic neckline. She loaned me a cammi to wear under it, and I came back saying that I didn’t need it since you couldn’t even see it, to which she pulled my shirt down past my shoulders and said that I’d look sexier like that. Oh moms . . .

After going to church in the morning and hanging out with Jenny’s brother, Mocho, I came home to study, (which consequently got me out of being stuck all day at our grandma’s house). I ended up studying and watching the Ecuador-Brazil soccer game, but only because I had a bet going with Mocho. Since they tied, I’m going to say with both win, so I owe him a dollar and he owes me a serenade.

At night Darla and I taught in the nursery, which went well.

Monday 3/30

Physiology Final Exam day. Ugh. I got 5 hours of sleep and woke up at 5:30. For all of my studying, the test was a booger. It was 20 questions, some with multiple answers and almost all were application. I felt like death.

In Spanish we read Lil’ Red Riding Hood in Spanish and then worked with synonyms. We got the prof talking about Ecuadorian romance for a good hour. My homework is amazing: rewrite the story with Grandma and the Hunter being lovers and Lil’ Red and the Wolf victims. The wheels are already turning . . .

Tuesday 3/31

We had to do a presentation in physiology about some pain pathway inhibitor drug thingy first in Spanish and then in English.

In Spanish we did hardcore grammar stuff. I was not a fan. Afterwards I went to Jenny’s and taught her and her brother Mocho taekwondo. He promised to teach me to dance if I taught him to fight, so it’s on. We also made a bet on the Ecuador-Paraguay soccer game tomorrow. If Ecuador wins, he and his friends serenade the song of my choice outside my window on some random night. If Paraguay wins, Jenny and I cook him dinner.

I stayed at her house for home group, and everyone laid hands on my back—again. I’m not sure how effective this method is, because I’m pretty sure it’s like the fifth time I’ve had it done since I’ve been here.

Wednesday 4/1

In physiology we toughed out translating a technical medical from Spanish to English. After class we actually made friends. BREAKTHROUGH! They invited us to hang out and party and such.

With a few swift phone calls, we got out of Spanish class to watch the soccer game with our new physiology friends. We piled 8 of us in a car and went over to someone’s house, decked out in our new Ecuador jerseys. They were a slightly rough crowd, but fun. Ecuador was kickin’ tail the whole time, but tied in the last 30 seconds. There goes my serenade… luckily, after my last bet with Mocho, I made a provision for ties; thus, I still have to cook him dinner and he gives me a normal serenade in his house. After the game we had a spontaneous reggaeton dance party and then they serenaded us with our favorite Spanish love songs—and Jason Miraz, which was weird in a cute kind of way.

When I got home I explained to my mom the concept of April Fools. She was intrigued, and I owed Gabby big time because the little rat is always lying to me and hiding my food and stuff. So I put an orange in the bottom of Gabby’s bed and Marcela helped me short sheet Isa’s.

When Marcela went to check something outside, Gabby and I turned off the lights and locked her out for a good 5 min. Once we’d reached the point of her flipping me the bird, (which was absolutely hysterical), we let her back in.