Dum dum dum duuuuuuum! The long awaited post has arrived, but I´m not really sure what to put in it, so I´ll shoot for the highlights.

The quinceanera was pretty kickin´. I borrowed a dress from a friend and got my hair done for the first time. Unfortunately all the ecuadorians were fairly shy, so I only danced with Jenny´s brother and my friend Marcos.

We had to do a big project for physiology: a research paper plus a 20 min presentation on something physiological. I did it in 3 days, and it was over how sleep deprivation makes you fat. Chew on that, why don´tcha : P

We´re done with finals, except for the tests we have to take back at Taylor, so that´s a relief. I think they went alright, but we never have any clue what our grades are so who knows.

We went to the beach about a week ago for a weekend. It was alrighty. I came back without a tan, having lost my camera (still don´t know how, and this will severely deplete the pic supply), and a suitcase full of sand. On the plus side, we went to a beach which in spanish is called ängry/grumpy¨beach which had some pretty sweet waves.

Towards the end of our rotations I sat in on neurosurgery. The patient was an old woman with a head lesion from a fall. It was sooo cool. They peeled back her forehead, took out a piece of the skull, and opened up her nasal cavity and the eye socket. the surgeon was actually cutting into the back of her eye! Then he drained out all the fluid that had been pushing on her eye and distending it, removed part of the nasal septum that had gone bad, and put everything back together.

This week has been the time for catching up with people. We´ve been hanging out nonstop. Tomorrow I´ve got a racquetball match, pizza party, and more hanging out at night. It´s super nice to finally have time to be with people, but it´s awful that it´s right at the end. I´m not quite ready to go.

Random story from phys class: in our spanish physiology class I was asked to be the example so the students could take my bp. Afterwards they let me take the bp of one of the guys. It was 140/90, which is rather high for a 19 year old. The teacher asked him if he was nervous because such a beautiful person was working on him. Poor kid, he was very very red. I´m sure that didn´t do much for his bp.

We managed to get Taylor to pay for all of us to get matching tracksuits which we´re going to wear on the plane to get back to Taylor. Sooo tight!

See you all soon!

Here's the deal, 5 commentaries from different people for 1 new post. Capish? I've lost my incentive for updating, folks!

Thursday 4/2

After some of my compadres ditched physiology and nearly stuck us with the presentation, I was more than a little miffed.

My aunt is a high school teacher. Since they don’t have enough English teachers, that job fell on her so she asked me to come in and let her students practice English and hear what a real American accent sounded like. That was an adventure. First of all, I mostly talked in Spanish, telling them about what it’s like in the U.S. and how their country is all weirdie to me (all of this is in front of 30ish 16-year-olds). They got to ask me questions, one of the first of which was if I was single. In a gesture of good will, I said that if they wanted to practice English or play racquetball, (which apparently is quite common but I have yet to play,) they could call me, and I gave a few my number. That should be interesting.

Then I switched classes to a room of 40 13-year-olds. One sassy kid in the front commented that I had somehow gotten a whiteout stain on the back of my black pants. I asked him, in front of the whole class, why he was looking at my butt. Then this cute little Chinese kid asked for my number, and he was so cute, he almost got it. All in all it was super duper fun, and I hope I get to go again.

I went for a walk to the river and stopped to stalk a taekwondo school where some little children were pummeling the crud out of each other. The teacher eventually noticed me and I ended up making a new friend. He invited me to come participate in class anytime. Sw-eet.

In the afternoon we had Spanish and at night Sarah, her sis Gabbi, Jenny, and her brothers Mocho and Fetchie came over to watch a movie with my sisters and I. I have no clue what we put on, but it scared the crap out of me. Once the boys left, we all screamed and cuddled together. Good times.

Friday 4/3

For this week’s practicum we went to the public hospital, where the doctor met and promptly abandoned us. Having no clue what to do, we wandered. Eventually we befriended the physical therapists, one of which gave my back some electroshock stuff and ultrasound. **Cue heavenly music** She said I could come back any Monday.

After that I spent the morning on the internet, catching up with the zillions of messages that are bombarding me from email, facebook, and now hi5.

I made rice krispies for my fam. Score again for the B. My mom is seriously contemplating selling them for 70 cents a square in her catering business. She did the math.

So, I’ve been getting these weird calls, mostly missed calls because I’m busy in class or something, but when I called them back I heard an Ecuadorian “aloh” and then he hung up. I got so fed up, I called back a few more times until I got a real answer, but then I got so confused, (Spanish by phone is the absolute pits,) that I handed the phone to Gabbi to translate.

Needless to say, for as much as I needed her help she was a bit of a butt—throwing in middle school girl comments. This is what we deciphered: this kid’s name was Rodrigo. He’s a senior at the high school I visited. He’s 19 and he wants to go out with me. #1. I’m super hot. #2. I seem fun. #3. He wants to go out with me. Well, he had me sold right then and there. I asked for a description of him, since I had no clue which kid it was. He’s a tall, curly-haired mestizo who’s apparently taller than me, (when I said I was single I qualified it by saying I only date guys taller then me, which resulted in us doing a test with the tallest guys in the classs. Only 3 of the 30 made the cut. I’m pretty sure they’re 3 of 10 in the country who do. I told him I’m on vacation, but when I get back we’ll see, but there’s no freaking way I’m going alone. I figure taking me out is the least he could do, since that stupid phone call cost me $7! Rodrigo, you owe me. Peanut gallery, put your votes in for what I should do.

At the very least, it was a good bonding opportunity for Gabi and I.

Saturday 4/4

Our grand adventure began at church at 5 AM. We spent 9 very uncomfy hours in a bus eating junk food and playing a question game, Hot Seat.

Once we arrived in the jungle we got in a motor canoe and took a 10 min trip to Casa del Suizo, our hotel. It was like something out of Swiss Family Robinson. It was situated on a piece of land jutting out into the river. The rooms were duplex houses with grass roofs and porches with hammocks that overlooked the river. The rooms were connected by raised, covered walkways.In the middle of everything was the open dining area next to the pool, which also overlooked the river, and all of this in the middle of the jungle. Every meal was an incredible buffet. Hallelujah! I tried tongue again and had my first encounter with goat, which was so-so.

As we’d arrived completely sweaty and disgusting, we jumped in the pool for a good 3 hours before dinner, then played cards and unwound.

Sunday 4/5

7:30 breakfast. Oi vey. By 9 we headed out in canoe with out guide, Telmo, (who I had to resist calling Elmo,) for a hike in the jungle. It was kind of buggy, sweaty, and hasty but amazing. We saw giant termite hives stuck up in the trees, cicaidae mounds, and a Viagra-like root appropriately named for its form “Pene del Diablo”. In the middle of nowhere they had a big rope swing, of which I was a fan. We also broke open plant pods and ate ants, which taste lemony.

In the afternoon we went to a butterfly farm. It was absolutely gorgeous, and even though I’m not exactly a “girly girl”, I-LOVE-BUTTERFLIES

Julie, Sarah, and I went exploring in the adjoining town and watched a soccer game. My team lost, but we still had fun yelling for both teams with the fans.

The day was topped off by a well-deserved soak in the pool.

At night we piled all the girls on Jenny’s bed and told scary stories. Everyone was screeching like whoa. Leigh, Jenny, and I left for a moment on the pretext of retrieving Leigh’s shoes by the pool and recruited the rest of our group to scare the pants off of the rest of the girls. When we came back Jenny started her next story, and right at the climax, Ellie, Katie, Grant, and Will started screaming and banging on the door from the balcony. I have never heard shrieks of that decibel.

Monday 4/6

My ipod is dying from the humidity. Nooooo!!!!

We motor-canoed up the river to an animal refuge. There we got to see loose monkies, which we couldn’t touch since they were being rehabbed, various birds, a baby anaconda, and best of all: capybaras!

Afterwards we tubed down the river. We stopped at a big rope swing and jumped into the river from the rocks. Then most of us climbed a tree overhanging the river and jumped approximately 20 feet to the river below. It was awesome. After a quick lunch of sandwiches we continued down the river in our tubes, watching a thunderstorm for part of it.

Next we visited a Quichua family, where we got natural face paint, plant headbands, and tried on a flower that looks like a tucan nose. With the native family we tried chicha, an alcoholic drink from yucca or corn normally made from the spit of old ladies chewing the aforementioned plants. We also tested our blowdart skills, of which I possess none. We finished our tour checking out ceramic and wood shops.

Tuesday 4/7

Travel day- Ug. We drove to Quito and stayed in a hostel.

Wednesday 4/8

Started the day at 4:15 AM. I’ll spare you my opinion of the hour. From Quito we flew to the Galapagos. It was soooo hot when we got there. It was rather deserty in appearance, with short shrubbery and fatty cactus trees. The ground was reddish and composed of volcanic rock.

We went for a short hike followed by a dip in the sea.

We hung out with some sea lions who were crashing the fisherman’s dock. Not only did the pelican there hate us, but after the sea lion charged us, the fishermen told us to scram. I don’t get it. They’re the first Ecuadorians I’ve met who weren’t big fans of gringas.

We’re playing a giant game of Survivor Galapagos, complete with competitions, jerseys, and a photo scavenger hunt.

Thursday 4/9

Due to extenuating circumstances, I didn’t have my camera, and it made me very angry. We went snorkeling and played with sea lions, like 2 feet away from our faces, sharks, and fishies. On the islands we saw the infamous blue-footed boobies and penguins!

Jenny and I lost our room key, and were therefore locked out when we got back at night, so we had a sleepover in Sarah and Darla’s room.

Friday 4/10

More snorkeling. We did a hike on an island and checked out black, spitting iguanas and saw a ginormous millipede. In the middle of the island we found the Cliffs of Love, which had a water-filled cravass inbetween, so naturally we jumped off of them. First Sarah, Ellie, and I jumped from a lower rock about 20-30 feet to the water. Then after our Italian friend, Eduardo jumped from the highest rock, I was compelled to do the same. We were the only two to jump about 40 off of the cliffs. It was incredible, and I even stuck the landing—going in pencil-straight!

I’m starting to get tired of all the sun. My legs are a little over-toasted. Next we visited a beautiful white-sand beach where we played in the waves and hit the sand for a little Ultimate. Today was awesome, but after all of the swimsuit time, I’m starting to chafe.

After we got back and got all cleaned and cutied up, we had a nice dinner out.

Saturday 4/11

More snorkeling. We went to a place called Shark Canal, where there were indeed a very large number of non-aggressive sharks, (no worries, family). We played with the sea lions some more and I saw starfish the size of my head. One of our Ecuadorian friends got stung by a jelly. Poor kid.

Following that we checked out a new island that was formerly inhabited by pirates. There were more tortoises there, and we could touch these ones!

While we were traveling from the beach to the pirate hideout and from the pirate place to lunch, we rode on the roof of the van/bus thing. At lunch I had the pleasure of discovering a beetle in my cake. Delicious.

We had dinner in a restaurant, and our waiter was quite the character. First he messed up someone’s ice cream cone, so I got it for free. Then when my dessert came it said “welcome amore” in the syrup.

Sunday 4/12

Happy Easter! We flew out of Galapagos bright and early and landed in Guayaquil, from which we had a 4 hour drive home to Cuenca. In the McDonalds, the first one we’ve been to since arriving here, we did a rap in front of the whole restaurant. We got home at about 10:30, and got ready for class tomorrow at 7:00 am.

Monday 4/13

In physiology we, the gringos, were assigned to present on the cerebellum. Afterwards we made new friends who invited us to go dancing, shopping, and to the beach. Whoohoo! Our rotations with Dr. Torral were canceled, so Sarah and I went shopping and bought a boatload of rings. After Spanish in the afternoon, Gabi decided to help me find outfits for the quinceñera that we’re invited to on Saturday and for dancing on Thursday. It was a very chick-flicky scene. We pulled every dress she and her sister own out of their closet and I tried them out while she took pictures. Afterwards she made me try on the tightest jeans I’ve ever worn in my life to find an outfit for the disco. This is the typical “going out” outfit of an Ecuadorian chick: tight tight skinny jeans rolled at the bottom, a skanky shirt, straightened hair, tons of makeup, and heels. Basically, they look like really cute whores. No worries, I’ll have to wear my own take on the Ecuadorian dancing clothes, cause I have no clue how one dances in booty jeans and heels. Additionally, us Taylorites have a strict policy of dancing only amongst ourselves so we don’t have to worry about skeeze buckets.

Oh yeah, and I'm going to the jungle and the GALAPAGOS tomorrow. Whoot whoot! Be back in a weekish.

Friday 3/27

The first day of the official practicum started with a bang. Leigh and I headed to Monte Sinai hospital and hung out with the surgeons.

We started the day with a kid getting her tonsils out. That was a good warm up. Afterwards was the grossest surgery I’ve seen. You must remember, I’m more noise sensitive than anything. It was a woman with sinusitis. The surgeons used the camera thingy to show the inside of her nosie on the screen. Then they drained the pus out. Afterwards the snapped out chunks of her nasal septum, (that being the nastiest part). Lastly, while they were in the neighborhood, they gave her a nose job. That was mildly disgusting but mostly fascinating, once her nose was broken and they were wiggling it around.

Our last surgery was kind of funny. It was a middle-aged woman who had already had a tummy tuck, breast augmentation, and breast lift. Now she was coming in for full body lipo, (which apparently only costs 5 grand), They used a different method. First she was marked and given an iodine bath, during which the surgeon made a really funny joke in Spanish. The patient commented that, “Será más duro por atrás,” (it’ll be harder in the back, meaning, to take the fat,) to which the surgeon responded, “Todo es más duro por atrás” (everything’s harder from the back).

Then she was given a sedative and some painkiller shots where they made the incisions in her skin to insert the tubes. Then the surgeon shoved a long metal tube filled with local anesthetic all under her skin where they were taking fat. Supposedly that was the most painful part, and she’d have enough amnesia afterwards to not remember it anyway. Then they brought out the vibrating tubey thingy and went scrapey scrapey everywhere. First they collected vials of fat to inject into her boo-tay, which apparently was lacking. The rest got sucked into a jar. The surgeon estimated 7 liters of pure fat for this job, but they can take anywhere from 5-12 L. Sick-Puppies.

In the afternoon we had our self-lead devotional which was on the topic of Hosea and was really good. After that we attempted to have a “study sleepover”. Guess how much studying got done. At least I’ve finally seen Twilight.

Saturday 3/28

After picking up her present, Leigh, Jenny, Sarah, and I went to Katy’s birthday party, which was rockin’. We gave her a one-eyed goldfish which we named “Chi-Chi”. Yes, we were fully informed of it’s condition when we bought it, and I even asked the pet store lady for a discount, which she declined. It’s quite the fish though. Rumor has it it can swim backwards. The gringos were the life of the party. It was about 10 white folks and 20 ecuadorians since it was a double birthday party for Katy and her Ecuadorian bro, David. We played ridiculous games like musical chairs, limbo, and a version of the HA game for awesome prizes like giant plastic rings, paddle balls, and fluffy tiarra’s (of which I was the proud owner). We tried to start the Macarena, to no avail. Afterwards we all just hung out and I finally made some friends, albeit all dudes, but what can you do . . .

When I came home I’d planned to hole up in my room and study, but we had a family party instead. In the spirit of sociality, I made a brief appearance which stretched into about an hour of chit-chat. They were super nice folks, so I didn’t mind. I don’t get their concept of time though. Parties start at 8 or 9 and end at 12 or 1. Oi vey. I met what I think was my second cousin, a 3ish year old named Anthony who I have fallen in love with and plan on getting a green card. That’s cool with you, right? Parents?

Sunday 3/29

New favorite quote from my mom, “No, más seeexi!”. She said this in regards to my outfit for church. I’d planned on wearing a blue shirt that has an elastic neckline. She loaned me a cammi to wear under it, and I came back saying that I didn’t need it since you couldn’t even see it, to which she pulled my shirt down past my shoulders and said that I’d look sexier like that. Oh moms . . .

After going to church in the morning and hanging out with Jenny’s brother, Mocho, I came home to study, (which consequently got me out of being stuck all day at our grandma’s house). I ended up studying and watching the Ecuador-Brazil soccer game, but only because I had a bet going with Mocho. Since they tied, I’m going to say with both win, so I owe him a dollar and he owes me a serenade.

At night Darla and I taught in the nursery, which went well.

Monday 3/30

Physiology Final Exam day. Ugh. I got 5 hours of sleep and woke up at 5:30. For all of my studying, the test was a booger. It was 20 questions, some with multiple answers and almost all were application. I felt like death.

In Spanish we read Lil’ Red Riding Hood in Spanish and then worked with synonyms. We got the prof talking about Ecuadorian romance for a good hour. My homework is amazing: rewrite the story with Grandma and the Hunter being lovers and Lil’ Red and the Wolf victims. The wheels are already turning . . .

Tuesday 3/31

We had to do a presentation in physiology about some pain pathway inhibitor drug thingy first in Spanish and then in English.

In Spanish we did hardcore grammar stuff. I was not a fan. Afterwards I went to Jenny’s and taught her and her brother Mocho taekwondo. He promised to teach me to dance if I taught him to fight, so it’s on. We also made a bet on the Ecuador-Paraguay soccer game tomorrow. If Ecuador wins, he and his friends serenade the song of my choice outside my window on some random night. If Paraguay wins, Jenny and I cook him dinner.

I stayed at her house for home group, and everyone laid hands on my back—again. I’m not sure how effective this method is, because I’m pretty sure it’s like the fifth time I’ve had it done since I’ve been here.

Wednesday 4/1

In physiology we toughed out translating a technical medical from Spanish to English. After class we actually made friends. BREAKTHROUGH! They invited us to hang out and party and such.

With a few swift phone calls, we got out of Spanish class to watch the soccer game with our new physiology friends. We piled 8 of us in a car and went over to someone’s house, decked out in our new Ecuador jerseys. They were a slightly rough crowd, but fun. Ecuador was kickin’ tail the whole time, but tied in the last 30 seconds. There goes my serenade… luckily, after my last bet with Mocho, I made a provision for ties; thus, I still have to cook him dinner and he gives me a normal serenade in his house. After the game we had a spontaneous reggaeton dance party and then they serenaded us with our favorite Spanish love songs—and Jason Miraz, which was weird in a cute kind of way.

When I got home I explained to my mom the concept of April Fools. She was intrigued, and I owed Gabby big time because the little rat is always lying to me and hiding my food and stuff. So I put an orange in the bottom of Gabby’s bed and Marcela helped me short sheet Isa’s.

When Marcela went to check something outside, Gabby and I turned off the lights and locked her out for a good 5 min. Once we’d reached the point of her flipping me the bird, (which was absolutely hysterical), we let her back in.

Friday 3/20

Devotional and culture class in the morning. At night everyone went bowling, but I stayed home and studied.

Saturday 3/21

We had lunch in a nice restaurant with Dr. Moore, who’s visiting for the week. I bookwormed my way through the afternoon.

At night I had a nice walk with Papa Javier and Gabi. We discussed the economy, politics, and his work at a window factory. I think I’m a better small-talker in Spanish than in English.

Sunday 3/22

We headed up to the hot springs pools “El Baños” for the morning to soak in boiling water under the boiling sun. At least it felt good on my back, although, options for things to do in the pool were limited considering it wasn’t deeper than 5’. Despite my best efforts, I managed to get a wicked sunburn, but the best part was the the rest of my family was worse than I was. Sucka’s!

Monday 3/23

We started physiology in Spanish, and I am quite a fan. The class is from 7:00-9:00 am, (which is the pits), but it’s split in half. The first half is lecture and the second is group projects to explain the concepts. It’s soooo much fun. We were split up with the Ecuadorian kids to teach the concepts of the sodium-potassium pump. I understood everything, but my participation in the presentation was somewhat lacking. On the plus side, I contributed to a kickin’ playdough model.

In the afternoon we went to the hospital with Dr. Torral for rounds, but it was more of an introduction. He explained the dialysis apparatus.

Tuesday 3/24

In physiology we were told that we had to participate, and that he wanted the other students to practice English, so we were to present how a synapse functions. We were competing with the other groups for the most creative presentation, and we kicked boo-tay. Everyone else made cute drawings/models. We acted it out. It was incredible. The binding of AcH with its receptor was Darla hugging Leigh.

With Dr. Torral we observed patients suffering from kidney failure, which was less than scintillating.

I spent the night at Jenny’s with Sara for some much needed girl time.

Wednesday 3/25

In the Foundation we saw a prostate removal. I was a fan.

Thursday 3/36

In Physiology we did a presentation on muscle stimulation, excitation, and fatigue. The prof said I got to speak in English since I was the best Spanish speaker, but once I was up there and finished my part, he made me do it in Spanish on the spot!

In Spanish we learned some good slang—like how to say “gansta”.

Friday 3/13

I arrived half an hour late to culture class after spending an hour demolishing red tape to get a package from Dad out of customs. Oi vey. Since I was late, I missed the field trip to the market, which wasn’t the end of the world since I go with my mom to the market on Saturdays anyway. I spent that hour while everyone was gone talking to Alba, one of the Spanish teachers and a complete sweetheart. When they got back we made kickin’ fruit salad.

After getting in my internet time, I went home and studied for a few hours before my homies came over.

Julie, Sara, Darla, Leigh, and I made pizza and brownies and watched a Lindsay Lohan movie, Just My Luck, (ironically on Friday the thirteenth).

Saturday 3/14

Mummsie dearest awoke me at the buttcrack of dawn to go to the market. It ended up being a three hour excursion with Mom, My Aunt Suca, and both of my sisters, (each at a different market since we went to two). I think I’m spoiled. I just point at a fruit and say, “Que es?” and presto, Mamma Marcela buys it for my salivary pleasure. So far I’ve tried about 10 fruits that I can’t pronounce and probably will wreak havoc on my digestive system.

When we got back I helped make a cake for Marcela’s home baking business and did some more studying/sunning, (I’m quite the efficient multi-tasker). Then we ran some errands and I introduced them to No-Bakes, which were a bit dry but on the whole wildly successful.

Marcela still doesn’t believe me that kids in the U.S. wear pj’s to class and take off their shoes.

I spent the rest of the evening in lame studiousness.

Sunday 3/15

Super long run to kick off the Lord’s day. Oi vey. After that it was church and then lunch (fried rice with shrimp—heavenly). Let me tell you, I am a great lover of puns, but nothing gets my noodle going worse than a bad Spanish pun. First of all, everyone expects me to understand them. Secondly after 3 repeats it’s not funny. Thirdly, it’s a pun so it really wasn’t all that funny to begin with.

The afternoon consisted of alternately studying and napping followed by a brief walk before returning to church to work with the youngin’s. Freaking 4 year old has a fixation with clawing my throat. I suppose punting the charges across the nursery is discouraged, right . . . ?

Doing crosswords in Spanish makes me want to eat my own entrails. At least they fed me ice cream. What’s more, the ice cream lady taught me how to swear in Quichua. I talked with Isa and Marcella for a while and things got a little feisty when Isa referred to her mother as Chuckie’s mother.

Monday 3/16

Stupid Circaedian rhythm . . . I got up early to study and then went to church for our group devotional. Since it’s a major pain to go home before Spanish, I just stayed at church at ate lunch, studied, and explored.

In Spanish we watched Que Tan Lejos again, resulting in an impressive display of artistry on my left hand. The buceta failed us today, so I had to take the bus. It was freaking packed to the windows and I had to push my way out to get off and little children were yelling at me. It looked like the bus spat me out. It was seven before I finally got home (class having ended at 5:30).

A little hot chocolate and studying and chillaxin’ with Ma and Isa and I’m turning in at the hour of post menopausal retirees.

Tuesday 3/17

After demolishing the digestion/kidney quiz I had a ton of time to unwind back at the casa. In Spanish we played a game with descriptions and practiced our adjectives.

Prayer requesty: my mom broke down over lunch because she got a call from Gabbi’s teacher saying Gabbi has no friends and she’s always by herself. Apparently the kids at her school are total snobs, plus Gabbi’s going through a bit of a rebellious stage. The combo isn’t so good. Poor kid.

We went straight from Spanish to a Cuenca v. Venezuela soccer game. IN-CRE-IBLE! The game itself was kind of lame. Someone was always on the ground writhing in pain and the ball stopped a lot, so I got tired of paying attention to what was going on on the field. The real action was in the stands.

We were in the cheap seats, meaning with the rough hoods/rowdy drunks. They were a fun bunch, I have to say. Sebas, the son of Maria De Lourdes, (our director), was our guide, so we hung out with him and his friends. I have to say, after this experience I have gained a slightly sooty face, a cigarette burn on my foot, and an expansive list of vulgar terms.

We did the wave, yelled insults, and got invited to a discoteca. What a night. The stadium was packed out with pretty bold dudes who liked yelling stuff at us and making kissy faces. My fav was the drunk: “You (long pause) want- go –(pause) with- me?”

We got a ride home in our school van and shouted cheers from the windows. Go Cuenca.

Wednesday 3/18

Icky morning of watching a computer teach us about metabolic processes. On the plus side, we’re done with the info in this class.

No surgeries at the foundation, so I did some shopping with Leigh (to no avail) and went home.

The following words have me rolling on the floor when my family says them:

Nestle: “Nest-te-lay”

Maple: “Mop-lay”

(my personal fav) Pickles: “Peek-lays”

Spanish was two solid hours of grammar that had me wanting death swift and soon. Back at the ranch I went for a walk and hung out with the fam. We made bread pudding served with vanilla ice cream. Score again for the B.

I taught my lil’ sis to say “freakin’ awesome”.

Thursday 3/19

In the spirit of rest and relaxation for having no physiology, I went for an hour long run. The eventual goal is to be able to run a 10 k in May, which would be quite a feat at 8,400 feet. (hehe, feat/feet).

Instead of a devotional in the morning, they sprung culture class on us. It ended up being fairly interesting. We got an overview of the political situation and the process of dollarization.

Lunch consisted of strictly eating and finishing my Spanish homework. Spanish is kicking my butt. We’re doing weird stuff like Imperfect Subjunctive, Condicional Compuesto, and Pluscuamperfecto of Subjunctive. Oi.

I feel like I’m not really moving forward with Spanish. It’s like the more I “pick up” the more I have floating around in my head when I talk. That makes me speak slower because I’m thinking more and I’ve gotten less confident in my pronunciation and guessing cognates. Weird.

Prayer request: Yesterday a girl from our group, Katie, got an email saying that her grandfather committed suicide. I think I’ll leave it at that.

I was talking with Mama Marcela about dreams and found out that I have the honor of being the first gringa she’s dreamed about—twice in fact. Albeit, both were nightmares . . .

By the by, don't mail packages directly here. It took an hour of red tape to get mine out of customs and I was less than cordial by the end.

Friday 3/6

Since it was Julie’s birthday we went out to dinner at a ridiculously expensive Italian place. Afterwards we went to her house for cake, ice cream, and senseless rhythmic movement (“dancing”).

Saturday 3/7

We headed to El Cajas, a national park, bright and early. Our families told us to bring coats, gloves, scarves, etc, so naturally we went most of the day in t-shirts/sweatshirts. People here are such pansies . . . The park was BEAUTIFUL. It’s waaay up in the mountains and it looks like a cross between the sound of music and Lord of the Rings. It had every kind of terrain too—it was rocky, dusty, mushy, grassy, foresty, valley-y. It had incredible lakes, a forest of weird papery trees, and a tight waterfall. We roasted hot dogs and chicken for lunch, and finally returned to our beloved bus/van after 6 hours.

We all went back to Maria’s for dinner (Pizza Hut), hanging out, and a little bit of worship.

Sunday 3/8

I went to church in the morning by myself. After lunch I locked myself in my room to study for my physiology test.

I emerged at 5ish to take a walk before going to the evening church service where I worked with the tots. They’re adorable, but some are just plain evil, like this kid who has a fixation with making contact between every toy and another kid’s head.

After church I made a joke about needing ice cream. I’ve got to be less careful about how I joke, cause I ended up with a coconut popsicle in my hand.

Monday 3/9

After the physiology test the cd for our physiology program punked out so we left early. I went home and studied Spanish, layed out, walked, and ran. It was a gloriously sunny afternoon.

The pharmacy is a black abyss of boredom. After pseudo-checking expiration dates for 2 hours, I contented myself with expanding my vocab by reading labels.

The topic of conversation with my family that night was celebrities. I had to break it to my mom that Ricki Martin was gay and it was a rather low blow for her. Likewise when I claimed that the twins in the parent trap were one girl.

Tuesday 3/10

Who got a 10/10 on a physiology test?!?!?! I DID! I DID!

The farmacy was majorly boring again—so we left.

In Spanish we got back our competency exams. Not so hot . . .

Home church was a bit of a drag as well. We watched a movie and got distracted by watching people flirt. On the plus side, I got a lot of new music from Jenny’s bro, Mocho.

Wednesday 3/11

After physiology we had a TON of time, so I took the bus halfway to church and did some exploring.

First I returned to a beloved bakery but failed to find my long lost love—a sugary roll-thingy.

Being only mildly disheartened, I decided to walk the rest of the way to church, all 35 minutes of it. I lover walking. I love watching people and watching them watch me. It’s like the zoo- effect. There’s nothing better than duking out a staring contest with a strange equadorian man while jamming out to reggaeton.

Dance class was kickin’. Today was salsa, which was a bit more challenging than meringue, and by the end we were all dripping with sweat, (yummy, I know). We’re still learning to shake the tightness out of our gringa hips.

Last day in the pharmacy. Thank goodness. We did some inventory and left early. There was a rumor that there’s a leg amputation tomorrow, and I’m hoping beyond hope that I can get out of class to watch it. I would give my right leg to see it.

Thursday 3/12

Jenny and I cut class to see the amputation. A-MAZ-ING. It only took 2 hours. It was a guy who’d been in a car accident and already lost his other leg. It was basically dead. The burned through the flesh, sawed through the bone, and chucked it in a bag to cremate it. I was in heaven- like, practically almost peed my pants in excitement. Neither Jenny nor I slept very well the night before because we were so excited. It was better than Christmas, (for us at least). I doubt it was all kicks and giggles for the poor guy.

In Spanish class we watched a boring Ecuadorian movie and turned on subtitles when the teachers left.

Friday 2/27

In culture class we covered indigenous illnesses and medicinal treatments. Apparently if you get illegitimately pregnant it’s kosher to blame it on the mountain goblin. Another custom we should bring to the states . . .

In Spanish we’re becoming experts at distracting the prof. We got her going for an hour and a half about her past love life, random definitions, and bad words. Eventually we did have to return to imperfect subjunctive . . .

After class we went to a Chinese restaurant and then bought ice cream. After that we watched Slumdog Millionaire at Darla’s and ate cookies and popcorn. Four of us went home in the same taxi and I got to be last out because: it’s kind of logical geographically, I have the best Spanish, and I have a black belt. No worries though. I made it home safe and sound.

Saturday 2/28

Glorious sleeping in! Over lunch my sis was telling jokes and they asked me to tell one, so I did a loose translation of the muffin joke. I’m not going to say that it was a huge success, but there was more than polite laughter—I think.

In the afternoon I attempted to study for a while and got some sun. In the process I also wrestled my shoe from the grips of the dreadful Bruno—again.

We drove up to Guadelaceo to go shoe shopping for Gabby because she’s going to a fancy party. I love shoes, but I was seriously shopped out by the end. Upon return I was presented with the opportunity to try blood sausage, which I accepted and regretted. I kept tasting it all night.

Sunday 3/1

Nothing kicks off the day of the Lord better than a little salsa-aerobics in the park. My favorite park has random aerobics classes, so I joined one, in the back, and without much rhythm, but I shimmy for Jesus.

After church I did a little studying and made banana bread with Marcela before returning to church at night to work the nursery.

Monday 3/2

First test in physiology = U-G-LY, and it wasn’t even my fault. I studied my proverbial pants off for naught. It was 10 questions, the majority of which were nit-picky things not found in my notes. I ended up with a 6/10, second highest grade in the class.

Afterwards my bus home ignored my flagging, so in an act of spite, I walked home- all 45 min of it.

I really enjoyed the Foundation today. We were in general med again, so we had a constant stream of patients. There were a lot of folks with various parasites and bacterial infections as well as diabetes-related issues. The highlights were as follows:

Taking more blood pressures

Seeing a what the doc described as a “tumor of fat” the size of a ping pong ball in a lady’s shoulder.

Watching a kid get the stitches out of his large knife wound in the head. That’ll teach you, kids—don’t fight with the other kids if they whip out the hardware. The doc suspected he was missing a chunk of his skull in addition to a considerable measure of common sense.

On the way home we engaged in our favorite pastime—cracking up our driver, Wilson, by singing terribly at the top of our lungs.

At night my entire family challenged me to arm wrestling. I beat everyone—except papi.

Mama Marcela said that she was glad that I was finally getting fatter. She was concerned that I wasn’t eating enough at first. Swell.

Tuesday 3/3

Long day. First we kicked off the morning by getting yelled at by our physiology prof for doing so poorly on the test. That was pleasant.

The foundation was kind of slow. The most interesting thing we saw was a case of stomach bacteria.

On the way home Darla and I decided that we’d rather hang out than go home, so we went for ice cream with the driver. It was pretty sweet.

At night we went to our house churches for the first time. It’s an all-youth thing. We (the gringas and I) used it to plan how we’re going to set up our siblings. My sis, Isa, was less than enthused to be paired with Jenny’s bro, Mocho.

Wednesday 3/4

Physiology was cake-y today. A good review of the respiratory system.

I went out to lunch with Julie, and we were running short on time so we picked the closest restaurant on the way. They didn’t have menus. The lady just kept telling me that they served chicken, and beyond that she was waaaay too mumbly to make out. I just told her we’d take 2. We ended up with chicken, rice, fries, bean salad, and chicken something soup. It’s debatable if it was lung, liver, or heart, but it was something roughly triangular and purple with a fairly pleasant flavor.

The Foundation was slow again, so we asked the doctor to weigh us. After weighing himself as well, he proceeded to mock our fattiness.

Thursday 3/5

The highlight of my morning was buying a ginormous pastry for 12 cents.

In spanish we took an competence exam to see where we are.

Friday 2/13

Since we didn’t have physiology we got to sleep in a little.

After culture class I chilled in the church office to catch some internet time before Spanish.

After Spanish we all went out to pizza and then hung out at Leigh’s house and ate cookies and watched a movie.

Saturday 2/14

Happy Valentine’s Day! I got a card and flowers from my mom and a rose from Maria de Lourdes.

In the morning we did some touristy things and went shopping as a group. My shopping ventures were an utter failure, but I did get to try roasted pork skin, which I found disgusting. It’s only slightly gross in concept, but I was not a fan of the texture. It was like chomping on a salty hard candy.

Back at “hogar dulce hogar” (as Marcela calls it,) we watched some movies and I did some homework before heading over to the other side of the world for a meeting at Maria’s house.

We talked about our experiences so far and how we were doing. Then we ate pizza and watched a movie.

Sunday 2/15

We went to the 11:00 service, which I really liked, then we picked up Chinese, which I loved.

After that immediately we hopped in the car for a 3 ½ hour excursion to visit the relatives. Dios mio. The highlights included:

Meeting a very cute but muddy dog that got me nastified.

Walking through a field while discussing popular music and breaking one of my three pairs of shoes.

Making taffy by pouring boiled sugar on a wet rock and sprinkling it with anise seeds then peeling it off an pulling it. Don’t mind the grass and ants . . .

At night I helped in the nursery at church, which was utter chaos but thoroughly enjoyable. I enraptured them by becoming el oso de cosquillas (the tickle bear).

My mom sent me to bed with a hot water bottle for my back.

Monday 2/16

After a shortened physiology class I went home and chillaxed for a while.

In the afternoon at La Fundaccion I was in optometry, where we worked with public health officials screening for cateracts. One old guy said his vision was so good because he was in the presence of such beautiful young ladies.

In the evening I played computer games with Gabby. Even against a 14-year-old I’m pathetic.

Tuesday 2/17

During physiology I drew a rather life-like depiction of Prof. Toral. Serves him right for letting a computer program teach us for 2 hours.

La Fundaccion: Today the optometrist was in, so he explained the patients’ conditions and the machinery to us. We saw patients with cateracts, which apparently are pretty common here, “tergios”, which are membranous growths, and glaucoma.

After the doc left, we chatted with his assistant for a while, who was very nice and gave us free eye exams upon request.

Attack #2 of water balloons. Luckily, pegging folks from cars is usually unsuccessful. Otherwise I would’ve taken it in the head.

Spanish today was awesome, mostly because she taught what we had questions on (which meant I actually cared about the material). We also translated a dirty love song. During recess we were playing with tiny rocks and some man threw a hissy fit that we were going to hit his car.

I had a nice chat with our bus driver and got to hang with the fam a bit before realizing a personal vendetta against a game of spider solitaire.

The one bar of wireless I pick up here that won’t let me connect to the internet is maddening.

Wedn esday 2/18

Best day in optometry EVER. This poor guy had been in the Foundation for about an hour before the doc arrived, and when he came in he explained that he had been assaulted on Friday and stabbed in the eye. Do some math between when he got stabbed and when he came in. It was really grossie josie. It had gotten infected. There was another sad case with a disabled man whose optic nerve had been damaged in an accident. There was nothing we could do for him. Cateracts, cateracts, and more cateracts.

Thursday 2/19

I love it when profs are late. Only an hour of physiology. Other than that, nothing terribly extraordinary happened. I survived another water balloon attack.

I think I need to be more careful of what I say . . . My parents were telling my sis that she needs to study more. I voiced an opinion to the contrary—she just needs to marry well. To this assertion, my parents posed the question of what I’d do if I didn’t marry well. I said I’d dance in a club. That went over smashingly : )

Friday 2/20

B-day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up to a huge flower by my breakfast, which set the mood nicely for the day. After a field trip to a cultural museum, I got to get online a bit before Spanish.

Spanish was awesome. We worked for about 1 hour, then took a half hour recess. Then we sort of worked for 15 min, followed by asking random slang questions and playing games.

This little old Spanish teacher, Alba, brought up that I needed 20 spankings with a belt, which were duly delivered in plain view of the street.

Maria de Lourdes, the program director, gave me a gorgeous flower arrangement, and everyone came home with me to par-tay.

We hung out for a bit, piling all the girls on my bed. Then we had sandwiches and this amazing meringue-y-creamy-strawberry-kiwis-y cake. After that we busted out the music and did the Macarena followed by a viewing of the highly hysterical Baby Mamma.

Once all the guests left, my mom came down and I was doing the dishes with her and my sister when all war broke out. It started with Isa chucking a bucket of water at her mom. The water started flying, all inside of course, and by the end the kitchen, dining room, living room, and ourselves were soaked. I think that was my favorite part of the whole day.

Saturday 2/21

Lazy lazy day. Woke up late and after breakfast went to the market with mom and littlest sis. After that we had a family bread-making thing, which was really fun. Then Gabby and I proceeded to rifle through their movie collection until we had amassed a considerable pile that I needed to see. We made a small dent by watching 2. As a family we played the backyard version of Ecuavolley, which is basically volleyball played by partially throwing a ball with the equivalent softness of a soccer ball.

Gabby and I had a spider solitaire-off. I kicked boo-tay.

Sunday 2/22

Family fun day. We spent about 8 hours with relatives, which was mostly pointless chatter, boredom, and kissing a dozen more strangers. The highlight was playing carnival, meaning a giant water/shaving cream fight outside.

We played a little Ecuavolley, (basically throwing a soccer ball at each other,) and I jammed my finger but redeemed myself with my mad soccer skills.

I also got called guapisima, and he was really really cute. I wasn’t sure what the proper protocol was for this sort of event, especially since he was a relative—not to mention four years old.

The festivities were cut a bit short since one of the relative’s house got robbed. They’re now minus one pc and some jewelry.

Monday 2/23

Time to meet the other side of the family, which I found is my favorite. We played carnival some more and had a big lunch of meat chunks and rice. We played a lot of cards and watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The relatives asked me a lot of questions and I got to be the funny gringa.

I introduced them to the concept of peanut butter and banana, which I’m not sure they were ready for.

Tuesday 2/24

Today we recouped from Carnival. I alternately studied, watched movies, and polished my spider solitaire skills. I also explored my new favorite place—a really sweet park. It’s the stuff of movies, with kids at soccer practice, old people stretching on the jungle gym, and a middle aged man running laps in short shorts. It’s absolutely massive, and I love it.

Wednesday 2/25

Day one in General medicine, and overall it was good. We saw lame stuff like ear infections, fever, diabetes, and more interesting things, like a guy who was peeing black. We got a little practice with Bp as well.

At night we went to a birthday party for a kid from Taylor who’s not with our group but will be living with a family here for 3 mon, Luke Owlsley. There was food, silliness, and dancing. It was rather awkward but pretty fun to pretend like we knew how to salsa and meringue. Some of our new Ecuadorian friends tried to help us out.

Thursday 2/26

So, when my mom said she was tired and I cracked a joke about communal napping . . . let’s just say she took it less lightly than I’d anticipated. I was rather dismayed when I woke up half an hour later than I’d intended in bed with my mom and littler sister snoozing beside me.

Is it sad that the highlight of my day was when Jenny swallowed her pen cap in Spanish class? Perhaps.

I am hopelessly addicted to spider solitaire, and thusly I’ve decided to give it up for lent.

Ok, people, I apologize for the weird formatting script and lack of "pzazz" in my blog. I'll work on it. It really takes the fun out of blogging if no one comments! It makes me feel like a middle-aged woman on a public bus muttering about darning socks or something, cause if I'm gettin' no feedback, the tedious work of posting becomes rather unappealing. That is all : )

More to come on Fri . . .

Monday 2/9

· The first day of classes went pretty smoothly (probably because it was all review). After class we went downtown to do some shopping, then I took the bus home all by my lonesome. After a little backtracking, I finally got there.

· After lunch we went to La Fundación, a mini-hospital ministry. This week I’m in surgery, but today I was relegated to sorting gauze. Since we were working in the emergency room, we got to see a guy’s lower abdominal hernias drained of 20 mL of blood, which was pretty cool. We also watched a little old lady with diabetes get her stomach palpitated. At least I got to take her blood pressure.Hopefully tomorrow we’ll see some blood and guts.

· After a brief meeting at the church to choose our ministries, we went home. I might get to teach a taekwondo class, which has me pumped!

· I spent some time talking with my family, then we had family devotions. Guess whose turn it was . . . Yeah, reading a whole chapter of Proverbs aloud in Spanish is every bit as difficult as it appears.

Tuesday 2/10

· Another day of physiology and La Fundación. Alas, no blood and guts. Today at the clinic we did the very important work of rolling cotton balls. I hope they don’t use those in any way shape or form in which they actually touch human flesh, because I definitely made them with bus hands.

· On the way home I affirmed my great talent of getting “un-lost”. My delayed arrival had my mom worried for her lil’ white girl. I recommended that next time she just roam the streets screaming, “DONDE ESTÁ MI GRINGA?!?” Over lunch I enraptured Mama Velez with the concept of fudge. In the afternoon we had 3 hours of Spanish class, which I enjoyed for the most part, but now I’ll never be able to keep up with my personal dictionary.

· Tonight we went to a service at church run by the youth. I was really digging all the music, especially Hillsong. Let me tell you, nothing makes a gringa feel welcome like staring at her as if she were a grotesque coat rack (which is how I felt, although, I kind of like being able to literally “look down” on everyone).

Wednesday 2/11

· Cultural tidbits:

o the stages of Ecuadorian dating are as follows:

§ Enamorados (any stage of love until she has a ring on her finger. Includes dating).

§ Novios (engaged)

§ Casado (married

o When gesturing someone’s height, put your hand palm out, not down. Down is for animals.

o Calling someone skinny or a fatty is acceptable.

· After all of us completed our third day of training for the speed writing Olympics, (i.e. physiology class,) our prof consented to copy his power points for us. Hallelujah.

· After class I took the bus by myself to La Fundación, which meant I went into intensive training for getting unlost. I swear, I was watching every stop, looking for mine, but somehow I missed it. By the time I realized this, I didn’t want to de-bus, because I’d have to walk a whole bunch. I figured the bus ran a route, so I’d just ride it until we came around to my stop again. Yeah, that’s didn’t work out so well when the bus came to a stop at the top of a small mountain and the bus driver told me to get off of his bus. The astute driver inferred from my confused and forlorn expression that I was lost, and graciously allowed me to re-bus. He also told me when to get off this time around. No worries; I was only an hour late, which I wouldn’t have minded, except for what my partner, Leigh, told me. Apparently we were supposed to watch a brain surgery, but I wasn’t there and she couldn’t stomach it. She was ready to pass out because of what she’d see. I wanted to pass out because of what I’d missed.

· We spent the afternoon rolling pads of gauze and cleaning surgical tools. Even though I put forth my best effort, somehow I don’t feel like something I washed in a normal sink with detergent, that was touched by unwashed hands, and set on a table should be put in someone’s flesh. Nevertheless, we wrapped the kits up and they got the “sterile” stamp of approval. Remind me not to require surgery on this trip . . .

· Yesterday I asked around to see when the next surgeries were, and the docs said I could stay late today, which I did, all by my lonesome.

· SO- WORTH- IT.

· I sat in on a brain surgery. Like, I was standing next to the patient, snapping pics and taking video. They drilled into her skull and made an incision in her abdomen, just under the ribs. They took a thin metal pipe and shoved it under her ribs, through which they fed a small, hollow tube. The tube was fed, length by length, up her neck, around to the back of her head where it could alleviate pressure. Fluid ran through the tube from her skull to the peritoneum. Throughout this process, I was aided in understanding and optimum camera angles by my new friend, Luis (no, I did not make this name up). He’s a fourth year med student, and he did some of the menial tasks in surgery, such as adjusting the light and fetching gauze. I played the very important role of identifying the labels on the gauze they were considering using. Without my help they would have never known how to distinguish the type from the company of origin. (yes, they did actually pause in surgery to have me read the gauze package).

· Who knew surgeons really do make off- color jokes and talk about lunch during surgery? One of them had his cell in there and one of the assistants was taking calls for him.

· I have not only perfected the art of getting “unlost”, I shaved some minutes off of my time. On the plus side, I’ve seen a lot of the city where I otherwise would have no reason to be there.

· When I finally got home, we went on a family walk with Bruno down by the river, where we passed a trio of midgets, which gave me the giggles. Mama Marcela reminisced of her childhood, in which she enjoyed Little House on the Prairie, Lassie, and Seventh Heaven. Thankfully she wasn’t crushed when I broke it to her that the real Lassie was replaced several times, and she even gave me a cute lil’ necklace with sunflower beads. I must be the best gringa she’s ever had!

Thursday 2/12

· While we were waiting for the bus after physiology class, I was violated. It was illegal; it was dirty, and I’ll never be the same. You see, I was personally assaulted- with water balloons. This car full of guys drove past with them, and I got nailed. My whole front was soaked (pre-Carnival celebrations are illegal, fyi). I found it all pretty funny, until I was freezing, (or as they say, achachi,) for 3 hours. After a short devotional, “Thursdays with Gustavo”, at the church I took the bus home. It took so freaking long that I basically got home, ate, then went back to the bus stop. This is all over the course of 3 hours.

· Today I skipped un-lost practice in favor of actually getting to where I’m going, and I did it all by my lonesome. Go me.

· After 3 hours of Spanish class in the afternoon, I’m ready for my brain to go on autopilot. I’ve found that I’m super ok with chatting it up with whatever Ecuadorian I happen to be near, i.e. tonight it was our van driver, but I’m still on the quiet side with the gringos. Go figure.

· Today I saw a kid juggling machetes in the street. I think that and Carnival are customs that we should adopt.